T's Blog Point Zero Zero Eight

To all the kiddies out there...

Let this be a small gift,

from me to you.

More than likely my one and only gift to you as I really do not like little people...

So read on.

Be sponges.

Absorb.




Here are just some of the joys of being an adult...




Papsmears! Yes - I started on a high note.

The lovely reminders you get when your papsmear is due!

The tone in your doctors PA's voice (PA for god sake - they're not even qualified to judge - yet - they do!) when you ring and ask for a prescription renewal, and they mention that you're overdue for a papsmear!

Like I needed to make this call for you to tell me that!




Replacing hot water elements - and not just telling mum and dad all the hot water has been used.




Car services - and thinking you're smarter now, and deciding not to take your little go go mobile to the dealership so you don't get screwed over with outrageous costs - and you take it to your local mechanic who RAPES you instead!!!




Apparently watching re-runs of Big Bang Theory is out and watching shows like Q and A (spew spew) are in. Don't even get me started on Insight!!!




Friends weddings and Beyonce's all the single ladies playing whilst the bouquet is tossed - cool when you're 21 and standing in the circle - not so cool when you're 31 (and a bit) drunk at the bar and being dragged into the circle by all your married friends who really really want you to catch the bouquet...

I'll put it out there now. I don't want your pretty bouquets - let the bouncy 21 year olds fight it out with the divorced 55 year old cougars. Much more entertaining for everyone.




Trash talking out - politically correctness in. (Boo)

Shortie shorts out - "sensible" shorts in. (Never)

Pot hurts.

Hangovers hurt even more.




Be nice to your grand folks now, cause if you're not married, bearing child or "trying" by the time you're 30, the old folk don't want to know you.

And they're persistant old ducks.

Quirkly to start with,

then painfully annoying.

Often you find yourself wishing death upon them.

Nasty I know - but they should have been nicer.




So, go...

Be merry.

Wag school whilst you can - don't need a doctors certificate for that.

Show the bouncers your fake id - they eventually stop asking.

And remember my famous words printed above.




You laugh now,

however in 15 years when you're at where I am now,

I'll be taking great joy in the comforts of the finer things in life,

wetting myself laughing at you!!!




Sadly however - that statement will more than likely have a much more literal meaning by then.

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