T's Blog Point Zero Zero Nine

Here's an idea...

Don't wear white when you visit the dentist.




After your dentist has poked around a bit...
and decided that that small amount of torture isn't really going to suffice...
NOW they will need to give you a local anaesthetic...
so they can really, reeeally, rrrreeeeaaaallllly poke around...
The local anaesthetic, I'm sure was explained to me as a small stingy pinch like sensation...




So when I nearly high kicked him to the head,
and this is from a 180' angle,
I was lying flat on one of those funky bed chairs,
trying to become engrossed in some Steve Carrell film that was on the TV on the ceiling,
my foot basically could of done the dental work for him it jerked that god damn high off the chair,




I realised that the trust between dentist and patient meant nothing to him.




After the anaesthetic had taken effect, they poke around a bit more and then think it would be a good idea for you to wash all the crusty dry left overs, and your own blood from your mouth...

So they sit you up and offer you a nice BLUE mouthwash,

Forgetting your lower lip, left hand side has no feeling, the lovely blue mouthwash ends up partially in your mouth and the other part on your even lovelier white Nike jacket.

To this disgrace and horror you try to expel the rest of the mouth wash that actually made it to your mouth, from your mouth into a sink and drain which, I'm sorry, in all honesty is like playing golf - a birdie put at best - and with a numb lower left lip - I knew I had no chance.




I tried....





But anybody who knows my golfing skills (and massive lack of)....




So the dental nurse got some on her coat...
I'm actually pretty amazed at how I did it!
It was an early shot - I think as I was lowering my head towards the putting green,
a small bit must of been anxious to come out,
and it shot out at such an obscure angle it got her top right hand shoulder!

And then her shoe :)

Ha ha - One point for the girl in the stained Nike jacket!




After a bit of pointing, tissues and apologies (fake as they may have been) they lower you back down to your movie and continue hacking away inside in your mouth.




I lie there trembling.
Literally.
I can feel myself shaking on the bed/chair thingy.
Click clunk.
Power spray.
Hack hack.
Gauze here, tissue dabbing there.
Please let this finish!!!




You open your eyes again as you feel the chair being elevated back to a normal upright position, they suggest you rinse to feel better.




You turn your head,
and notice a small cup of GREEN mouthwash!




Nasty little shits!




Was this a joke?




Blue wasn't enough???




Oh, they're good!
They're good at being nasty!
Right till the very end!




One point right back at em, which makes it one all...
For now.