T's Blog Point Zero Zero One Four

Before all you blokes,

Men,

Boys,

Man gods,

Humans with three dangly bits instead of two,

Get on the whole “you’re a feminists, we’re hard done by” bandwagon…

I wish to stipulate that this article applies to both men… and women.

Yes,

By gollygosh,

It’s Valentine’s Day.

It was this time last year, and shock horror, will be again next year.

It’s already in print.

2012 calendars, diaries, websites, etc…

People have even booked their weddings for this day in 5 years time (whether their partner or soon to be partner(!) knows about!

Whether you wish to celebrate it with grand gestures,

small subtleties,

or acknowledge the day through ignorance…

Just don’t protest about it!!!

If you’re stance is that it is a whole media hype…

A cheap and nasty way for companies to make money…

Ew wah! God forbid companies actually make money… idiots…

Or it’s “Americanised”…

I seriously hope you don’t celebrate Mother’s day,

Father’s day,

Hanuka,

Halloween,

Christmas or

Easter for that matter.

Otherwise I would just have to bluntly call you a selfish pig/piglet.

If you’re a dangly bit bloke with a kid and have spent the past 48 hours crackin the shits about “having” to do something for Valentine’s day and making it known to anybody who will listen…

You shouldn’t have to declare your love on one particular day – I love my wife all year round…

How hard wouldn’t it be for one day to rock up with takeaway for her and the fam,

Give her one half hour off to have a bath whilst you run the kids

(or the dog) around the block,

Hide one tiny chocolate (you can eat the rest) under her pillow,

in her coffee mug or in her daggy dressing gown.

Send an email, text, twit, post, update MMS, SMS….

All that, would cost you less than a buck and less than 2 1/2 minutes of thought time…

For all you women that hate the world because it’s Valentine’s Day,

and you’ve already prepared your “ignoring act” for the other half when that poor defenseless male realizes it’s Valentines Day…. Today… at 8:40pm…

May I ask…

What have you done for him?

Is there a cold beer in the fridge?

Hide a G-string under his pillow – it’s doesn’t even have to be yours…

Give him free range on the radio station or TV for the night.

For god sake… maybe even sleep with him…

In a different position perhaps!??!!?

Or don’t sleep with him and tell him to go to the shed or pub for the night…

Whatever it takes people!

And don’t think you singles are getting off lightly either.

Put yourselves out there.

Keep doing the same old thing day in and day out and you’ll get the same in return.

You’ve heard it before for weight loss, business success… blah blah blah…

So if you’re happy being single!

Live it up.

Drink the full bottle of red tonight whilst sitting around in your underwear…

Or go out, hit the town and celebrate it.

But for god’s sake – just STOP BITCHIN about it!

Stop ignoring the day because it won’t go away.

My mother told me when I was much younger and dumber that if ignored my brother,

he would go away…

And guess what….

My mum’s a little liar…

30 odd years later….

If you disagree…

no need to comment…

I just hope you get jack shit for…

Mother’s day

Father’s day,

Hanuka,

Halloween,

Christmas and/or

Easter

Lots of warm loving wishes.

Hug hug, suck it up, kiss, kiss.

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