T's FIFO Blog #1

With the start of a new fly in fly out role in outback Oz, 3:30am wake up calls, single lane stretches of road covered by Hilux's like 100's and 1000's on the butter of fairy bread I thought what a great time to shake up T's week.

 I now spend my days on a big dusty patch of outback QLD where a few different companies build some structures and dig some holes so that in a few years time those holes and structures will aid Australia in extracting and exporting coal... or at least that's what I think is going on out here??!?!

 Yes... I've joined the world of FIFO workers...

 The only time my Nike swoosh logo addiction gets fed is if I get up when it's still dark... And generally when Wigz would be getting home... To have a workout in a very lonely, serene square tin box that has some exercise equipment in it. I pop the likes of The Hoods or Presets on so their tunes vibrate their way through my eardrums to my eyes... With each beat causing my eyelids to pop back open. After half an hour of that... It's time to hit the road...

 Literally...

 I waddle up the road of the camp facility that is basically a suburb filled with 500+ tin sheds, utes, utes, and a few more utes and a rough guess of approx 34 gabazillion people waddling around in outfits that would put Scotty Cam and the Hard Yakka crews to shame.

 Including me.




No more CUE pencil skirts...

No more Nine West peeptoe heels...


I now spend my mornings tucking my bright, starch filled yellow and navy with a high vis metallic strip across it shirt that goes down to my knees...

 Tucking it into by navy king gee pants that go up to my armpits...

 By the time I put on my mine spec steel cap boots that go up too fair on my poor tender chunky custard calves...

 You now have a Tanfini ready for a new work day!







I sometimes feel like a I should whack on some gloves and direct planes into land like they do on Top Gun...

 Or weather busting out some YMCA manuvores would be more appropriate...

Either way... I reckon if you partnered me with Rebel Wilson added in Shaun Micallef we'd have a pretty hilarious skit for the next "Thank god you're here" episode.









 I then gather my little plastic bag...
with my little plastic container...
with my little plastic knife and fork...
 
This whole plastic thing does make you feel slightly less of a human...

Kind of like you're not legally allowed "proper grown up things" 


Like when you're in Grade 3 striving to get your pen license, like what the grown ups write with, so you can ditch the crappy HD pencils for some serious felt tip action.






And then jiggle around in a ute for an hour... Watching the convoy of utes infront all heading down the single lane road as if its Armageddon...

 Until we finally stop jiggling and get to say G'day to the lovely gate folk who ask for our names so they can monitor whom goes in and out of site...

At 5:30am in the morning... they struggle with Walsh and Evans, let alone Fantini.

Fan what?
Fantini...
Srantini?
No - F for Freddie...
Frantani?
No...Fantini, like Martini but with a Fan...

Tomorrow I think it best just to go with Linguini and see what they say...
   






By 6:30am...
I have met Snowy, 
Chocko, 
Shauno, 
Turbo,  
Tex,
Coops and Greenie...

 Plus heard a joke about dogs, balls, and their inability to form a fist with their paws...

For those of you out there that can piece the rest of that joke together... Well done! Your grand parents will love it!

I stand there and think... 
That's the first 3 hours of my day...
Yep, living the Australian dream... 

Hilarious!

 

 







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